During the course of our business lives, or our lives in general, we typically encounter a potpourri of social events that afford the opportunity to network. Now, if you mention networking to most people they say ‘arghh.’ Not the most articulate response, but a response nonetheless. When I observe people at networking events the three most common types of networkers I see are as follows:
The wallflower is so intimidated by the throngs of people that they don’t know, they end up standing off in a corner by themselves. In the process, they often end up eating way too many of those mystery meatballs that contain an ungodly amount of sodium. The next day, the water-retaining wallflower can tell their boss that they attended the event, but in reality nothing productive was accomplished.
The socializer attends events with groups of their peers or co-workers. Similar to the wallflower, they are intimidated out of their mind. Rather then stand in a corner by themselves however, they monopolize the valuable work time of their peers by standing and conversing with them during the entire affair. Like the wallflower they appear to be dutiful staff members, but no results were achieved.
The guerrilla networker is my favorite. He or she mulls around the crowd sharing plastic smiles and thrusting their card in other peoples’ direction, and then requesting their card. After a brief, superficial exchange, the guerilla is gone, card in hand. When they return to the office the next day, they show their boss a fistful of business cards, and then seek praise for being an awesome networker. In the end, did the guerilla accomplish anything? Sure they pumped up their database with names of people whose faces they cannot recall. But after they bludgeon those people with follow up emails and calls, do they really write any business? Typically not.
So how the heck can we turn networking into a meaningful activity? More importantly, how can we transform networking into a non nerve-racking, almost pleasant experience? Well my friends, the answers lie in preparation, proper mindset, and solid technique. Let’s begin with preparation.
The very first step in effective networking is to set a goal. What I mean by a goal is this: prior to a networking opportunity, determine the number of meaningful contacts that you would like to achieve during the event. I will share my goal with you: one. That’s right! If I can walk into a sea of people (some that I know and some that I don’t) and walk away with one new, meaningful relationship or strengthen one existing relationship – I am satisfied. This goal does two things. First, let’s face it, a goal of one is not intimidating and it certainly is attainable. Secondly, one additional piece of business, or a great new contact can be huge in the long-run. Now, let’s move on to mindset.
The frame of mind that I believe we should possess when entering a networking situation is called host mentality. Many of you may remember this term from my column about Presentation Skills. What host mentality refers to is picturing that you are the host of the networking event. Prepare yourself before entering and engage in 60 seconds of meditative imagery whereby you picture yourself as a host. You greet people, you make them feel welcome – just like they were in your home. It may sound silly, but if you try it you will find that it relaxes you and even allows you to smile. Be a host, mingle a bit, and then connect with that one interesting professional with whom you can establish a win-win relationship.
Next, we cover five techniques:
- Get the food and drink out of the way early. If you are going to eat at the event, do it early. After you eat, then network. (Try to keep the belching to a minimum). Remember, you want your hands as free as possible so that you can shake hands when the right opportunity presents itself.
- Body language. A big reason why many people are bad networkers is because their body language is closed off and unapproachable. Whether standing silently with others, or by yourself, seek to have open arms, a straight posture, and a Mona Lisa smile on your face. Everyone’s smile is terrific; and engaging!
- If you are not the type of person who can simply walk up to someone, extend your hand, and say “hello,” you are going to have to be very good at getting yourself invited into conversations. A great technique for this is called proximity. It works like this: three people who look interesting to you are talking; you walk up and stand, perpendicularly, about three feet from the group. Sip your beverage and slightly smile as you stand there for a moment. Unless they are involved in a conversation that has a good reason to exclude you, there is a 65% probability that one of them will extend an invite.
- Never thrust your business card on someone. Wait until they request it or, if you really want them to have your card, ask their permission to give it them: “Would you like one of my business cards?”
- Ask interesting questions. One of my favorites is: “So you do (blank), now please tell me, what are your two favorite aspects of (blank)?” The answer to this question will tell you volumes about that person’s passion and commitment. Personally, unless they are absolutely passionate about what they do, I will soon be off to visit my next proximity prospect.
Well, that’s all for today folks. There is plenty more, but it’s time to hit the networking trail. Now where did I put that host mentality anyway?